No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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