Nicole vs. Life
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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