gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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