i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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