Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
