They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
