that's an acceptable place to lick
they need to just BURY HIM!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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