I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
