IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
