I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
