Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
