i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize