I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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