Your face is a jimmy john
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
