The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
