He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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