college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
