Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
