for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
