if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
