Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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