I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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