So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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