You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
