So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize