I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
