She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
