i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
