My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
3 2 1 whiskey
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Randomize
