needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
