youre lurking in front of me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Randomize
