My underwear smells like fireworks.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
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