yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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