I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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