I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
