my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
