how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
