loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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