let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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