Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
