it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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