you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
