I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
