Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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