I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
