I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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