I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
