Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize