Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
