The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
