Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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