In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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