i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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