I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
