I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
