If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize