I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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