Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
