my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
