normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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