we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
