My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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