Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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